-Its a form of sickness to not be afraid of what you should be afraid of.
When I lifted up my journal to begin writing, I noticed my ink cartridge had fallen out of my plastic pen. It felt so bizarre. Ofcourse, it was probably right next to me on the floor, but symbolically, it felt like a request to not go into my head. To not use writing as an excuse to avoid feeling everything. Writing is not your parent to shelter you, its your companion along your journey navigating through integrity. The thing you let accompany you into places you may or may not want to go.
Be aware of that – how our addiction to content may very well limit our depth. Too concerned with bringing something back to the tribe that we end up staying on very short leashes. How free are we? How transparent will I be if my goal is simply to write about it or make a blog post. Well I exaggerate certain parts, downplay others. How truthful will the truth really be.
The writing is the after glow of the experience. The map. A map is a detail-less existence, incomaprable to the richness of the reality and infinite details. How misfortuned we are to be so comfortable. To have something to hold our hand the entire way. What can we expect to find with those safe guards?
Ill be humble. Theres deep depths and truths that others have walked further then I have. Totally willing to own that. Growth is a pyramid. 3 parts small, 2 parts medium, 1 part heavy. Pyramids are built from the bottom up, from the general to the specific. The common to the brave. The height you can touch will depend on the bedrock you stand on. Create the soil that can touch the sky. Ive heard that ‘if you want your branches to be as high as heaven, your roots will have to be as deep as hell’. What truths have I seen yet? Im a bypasser, a casual onlooker. I hope thats changing. Progression is a natural flow of life. Progression is the sacred geometry. Higher heights, deeper depths. The tree branches expand, the roots dig down. What comes first?
God id love to be irresponsible right now. To over do something. To say ‘what limits?’ That seduction of progress. Patience is just as truthful as bliss. The cold just as sacred as fire. Yes id love to over reach. To justify it on chasing truth. Freedom. Expansion. Call it what you want to call it. To say no – ill trust my truth as it is today, can feel emasculating. To try and not romanticize the ‘more truthful truth’.
The capacity to genuinely feel is a huge strength. Even to acknowledge, “I feel numb, egoic, careless, bold to a fault”. Its the same force of addiction. Numb to the effects, to feeling, so obviously we will repeat ourselves, our negative cycles. If we wernt numb, if we truly felt, then what would we repeat? A painful loop of pain?
-Show me, dont tell me.
Living in Free Fall 