Emotional intelligence

I lately have been lucky with my writing. I tend to have an idea brewing in my head before I actually hit the paper, and it makes it very clear and easy to flow out a post. My intention today is to test that. I normally would wait longer before writing but am trying to push myself to see how I do on my toes and what comes up as I write.

I was hovering around this topic today. I recall hearing about EQ many years ago, but realizing I didnt have much clear definition of what it is. Im not hear necessarily to define or explain it, as much as im going to share my experience google imaging it, which may end up leading to the same result.

One aspect of low EQ can be said to be easily argumentative. Although I dont always think of myself this way, I have seen patterns of this brewing inside me as of late. Some short temper or impatience.

There was a time in my life where I was really intaking alot of personal development resources. I remember that during that time I felt so considerate, so explanatory and civil and patient. I find nowadays im starting to see a people pleasing side in that approach (atleast the way I did it) and have begun to shift to another side, where im saying less, being more outspoken.

Can EQ waiver like this? Can someone who felt higher on those ideals suddenly backslide? I feel that somewhat. How we grow complacent, fatigued from trying, and tend to backtrack on the progress and approaches we once had.

Another indication of low EQ is emotional outbursts, as well as blaming others. I was beginning to recognize this in myself. Almost righteous blaming, as well as bottled up resentment coming to the surface. Seeing these signs of low EQ were pretty confronting to me, they seem to contradict so many philosophies I once really went the extra mile to try and uphold. I find lately, maybe with covid, maybe with just burnout, or fatigue, the sense of being less sharp with these habits, more susceptible to unfiltered responses. More leniency to being more impatient. These have liberated a sort of new expression of expression, of repressed emotions, of unconscious reactions. There is some sense of gratitude for such a release, but at the same time, must all liberation or freedom be contradictory to values you upheld, and in many ways still believe in today. I find that notion really troubling to come to terms with. Alot of identity with being aware, being caring, and thoughtful. Not intending to do so to a fault, but to some degree of caring integrity and community harmony. But is there harmony with suppression, with repressed emotions, with hard times and just unachieved self-care. Maybe these are side effects to those rhythms and times in life. Perhaps high EQ is what we strive for, rather then something we constantly are. Maybe those are the point, its not a product, its a goal. Goals are not necessarily always hit, but are strived for. Are acknowledging and honest when they are unmet. I think that is the principle of this. These signs are more outer manifestations of being not at rest and peace inside. When we are calm inside, our actions are calm outside.

EQ. Something that was on our radar at one time. Overlooked. Considered a business term perhaps. But I see it really describes a framework I can view myself through right now. Interesting how it all comes back around.

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